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Jagular

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Bon Voyage, Karina

Have a wonderful flight, Karina. Not only do you get two daytimes today, you also get two summers this year.
Dress warm, be safe, and don't abuse the Poms too badly.

*Correction*

Lulugal: A PF-blog by Lulu (with technical support by Kevin).
I'm pretty fond of this blog because...well...they linked to me first.
Frequently updated about financial issues, well thought out content, excellent links throughout the blog. My favorite PF blog.
:P

Tax Status

Your tax return was accepted by the IRS on 1/29/07
Your refund should arrive by 2/13/07

CC#3, your days are numbered...

Sidebar Update

I added some new links on the sidebar to the blogs I read.

Ice Princess: Cami from Save Karyn is getting out of debt. And getting married. Good job, and congratulations.

Frannie Farmer: A very refreshing blog from Frannie the farmer. Complete with good old-fashioned common sense. An absolute must read.

Jones: The blackdog is back. But this time he's a bit more slow walkin'.

Lulugal: A PF-blog by Lulu and Kevin.
I'm pretty fond of this blog because...well...they linked to me first.
Frequently updated about financial issues, well thought out content, excellent links throughout the blog. My favorite PF blog.

Date Night

Last night was date night.
Ah yes, the key to a happy marriage.
My brother came out to the house to play the Nintendo WII watch the kids, and Shelley and I went out on a good old-fashioned date.
She looked so pretty all dressed up. She even wore her pearls.

We hadn't figured out where we wanted to go. The point of going isn't so much the where as it is the going. We decided to go out to dinner.

"Do you want to go to Outback Steakhouse?" she asked.
She knows I like that place. That's why she suggested it. I'm not sure she cares too much for it. She was never really one for a good steak. But this is the game we play. Let's go to the place you like...no, let's go to your favorite this time...how about a different place that you like...and finally we will come up with a place.
So I just told her. Just pick any place that you would like to go and we can go there. (Oh, please don't let her say Chinese.)
So she said that what she has really been wanting lately has been.....are you ready for this one?

The International House of Pancakes. Otherwise known as IHOP.

So for our date night we went out for pancakes.
We were seated very quickly, which was surprising. I expected the pancake house to be overflowing at 7PM. They gave us each a menu, which was pretty neat.
And then came the task of figuring out what to order. That was pretty tough. I mean, there are so many different good breakfast items that how can you make up your mind. I ended up ordering an omellete and then Shelley proceeded to pull a mind-fuck on the waitress.

It's really a site to see, her mind-fucks. And trust me, she is a pro. The key is to keep changing things, from what I can tell. And substituting. And making the waitress explain how things are cooked.
Have you ever ordered your eggs deviled? How about ordering your eggs with raw toast, and when they ask how you want them cooked say that you would like them boiled, mashed, and mixed with mayo. (Egg salad sandwich)
In the end she (accidentally?) ordered two meals. To be fair, she ordered two small meals to make up one bigger one.

I swear, I love this woman more and more every single day.

And what I really love about her is not just her mind-fucks. She actually gets my jokes, and that's pretty cool. She even gets my references, which to me is just plain scary on so many levels.

I often will quote some obscure movie or text in the course of my conversations. Not to make a point, as in I am citing a reference here to backup my position but rather to include a quote in our conversation such that the other person never even realizes that I have just quoted someone.

Here is a recent example:
Shelley: Why did you put a picture of a castle on your blog?
Jag: I just thought it was cool that some guy built himself a castle.
Shelley: Why is that cool?
Jag: Can you build a castle?

And of course, this is a reference to the 1935 movie Curly Top, starring Shirley Temple.

Elizabeth (Shirley Temple): Oh, my duck does a wonderful trick. My duck can lay an egg.
Mrs. Higgins: And just what is so wonderful about that?
Elizabeth: Well, can you lay an egg?

Which, of course, Shelley picked up on immediately and commented right back at me.

In the end, the waitress forgot to turn our order in to the cook, and we were almost an hour just getting our food. We never fussed or complained. The manager came and apologized and then we eventually got our food and had a great time overall.
They discounted the meal by fifty percent, so we paid $13 and some change.
Not too bad, after all that.

Monday, January 29, 2007

An Inconvenienter Truth

We've all heard the news. The earth is getting warmer. Man has released so much pollution that the greenhouse effect is trapping the heat from the sun to the point that the average temperature is rising. In a couple of hundred years the only habitable place on the planet may be antarctica. We all have to stop driving SUV's so our grandchildren will have a chance to live. Left unchecked, the polar ice caps will melt, raising the ocean levels to the point that they will flood most of North America.

I call bullshit.

Now where do I get off calling bullshit to such a well established fact as global warming? Well, quite frankly, because it is all more or less a bunch of bullshit.
I would like to just go through some of the more established facts about global warming.

Let's start with something basic. Let's start with the fact that global warming exists. I have looked at the numbers. The average temperatures across the world are, in fact, increasing. Or at least they used to be. Except that the average temperature hasn't actually increased since 1998. To the contrary they have decreased. I'm sorry, but it's true. However, the decrease is very small. I've been out of college for quite a while now, and I don't feel like brushing up on the degree of change that would constitute statistical significance, so I will just assume for argument's sake that the degree of decrease is insignificant, and ignore the decrease altogether. So then, the temperature is now at least holding steady. Why isn't this in the newspapers then? Good question.

How about this one: Global warming is caused by pollution. It's a very basic premise of the whole global warming issue. Again, bullshit. If you examine the amount of pollution that man is responsible for and compare it to the amount of pollution that natural events (volcanos, forest fires, cow farts, etc) cause, the results are obvious. It's absolute bullshit. This becomes even more evident when you take into account the fact that the warming trend predated the rise in carbon dioxide levels by a hundred years.

But the greenland glaciers are shrinking. That's my favorite. When Greenland was first discovered in the 900's AD, it was, in fact, green. It was even quite lush. Many of the glaciers in question didn't even form until the fifteenth century during what is commonly called the "Little Ice Age". We are actually on the heels of that same ice age. The earth has been warming ever since the fifteenth century. But it's not actually warming. It's just returning to normal after an ice age.

What about massive flooding throughout North America?
Yeah, whatever. That's nothing but pure propaganda in its worst form. Even Al Gore has admitted that he just put that crap in his movie for dramatic effect.

The actual truth is that the temperature of the earth is not constant. It fluctuates. Every twenty or thirty years some wise guy gets the idea that the earth is in trouble. Back in the seventies they were warning about the impending global cooling. We were all going to die in a new ice age. But before that, there was global warming. Back in the late thirties and early forties they were warning of global warming. That started in 1938. But before that, there was global cooling. In the late 1800's. In 1895 the New York Times was warning about global cooling and the impending ice age.

In the next hundred years more people will die from their ass is too fat than there will from global warming. Or global cooling. Or climate change in general.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

A perfect presentation

Conversation at work:

Female coworker #1: Do you know what I like about Mr. Jackson?
Female coworker #2: His butt?
Female coworker #1: No, it's that he's really personable.
Female coworker #2: Oh. I thought you were going to say his butt.

Jag: That's what women like about me.
Coworker #2: What? Your butt?
Jag: Yeah. That and my waist.
Coworker #1: Now how on earth did you come to that conclusion?
Jag: I overheard them talking.
Coworker #1: And what exactly did they say?
Jag: Well, I heard these two ladies talking about me and they said they liked my butt and my waist.
Coworker #1: Did they now? What did they actually say?
Jag: Well, the first one said, "Will you look at that ass." And the other one said, "Yeah, I know. What a waist."


Ok, I know. It's an old one. But hey, it still worked. And I presented it perfectly.

Re: Marriage

Sometimes you are right,
And sometimes you are happy.


Just a thought.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Happy Birthday, Kenny

Today is my son's twelfth birthday.
Most of the time I have something clever to write, or a witty remark, or some meaningful thought. But today I do not.
How do I express the love I feel for my son?
How do I tell him how proud I am of him?
How can I explain how special it is to me watching him work his way toward manhood?
I just don't know enough words to be able to tell him how I feel.
So all I can say is happy birthday, Kenny. I love you very much. I'm very proud of you. I'm glad that you are my son.


But my friend at the Thai Food Store had this to say:
Oh, it Kenny birthday? Is good. He grow too much. He eat Thai food, make him strong. Now he very big.
Now he mow the grass.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Budget Update

CC#1 is now paid in full. Goodbye. Don't call me, I'll call you.
CC#2 is unchanged. At 0% interest, this one will be the last to go.
CC#3 is my new priority. (Thank you everyone for your advice.)
New balance: $3270.00 Estimated time to payoff: One month if my income tax refund comes in time.
CC#4: I sent a request for a lower interest rate. I've got my fingers crossed.

Emergency Fund: I started a new E-fund.
Opening balance: $140.00
Goal: $1000.00

I marked off one more box from my chart. Two down, eleven to go. One month is over, five more remaining.
Total debt remaining: $11,419.46

So far so good.

You guys spoke and I listened

I'm going to go after Credit Card #3 next. I think it would be silly to pay off the lowest one first, because it is zero interest until November, and it should be paid off by then even if I do it last. So I will work on the next lowest one.
The only problem with calling CC#4 to ask them to reduce the interest rate is that this interest rate is the one they gave me after they reduced it. It was higher before. So I don't think they will reduce it further. But it should be paid off in about three to four more months anyways. So why worry.
What's exciting about going after CC#3 is that after paying on it next month, it will be within striking distance for paying it off completely whenever I get my income tax refund. I'm expecting to get money back this year.
Wouldn't that be cool to pay it off in only one month?

I'll go pay all of my bills today and see how it looks after that. I still have to do the weekly grocery shopping, too.

Another day in the life of...

I found out that yesterday was my birthday. Tomorrow is my son's birtday. He'll be twelve. I think he's excited about it, but he doesn't show it.
I'm trying not to spend a lot of money on birthdays and holidays this year. He was good with that. I took him up to the store and let him pick out what he wanted for his birthday. I thought he might like it better that way for a change. Then he will get what he wanted for his birthday. We'll see how it goes.
I didn't break my budget for the two birthdays. But I did operate on the fringes of it.
Life is good.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

A strange Email

I got an email this morning from my sister-in-law.
It was really short and sweet.
It said, "Happy birthday, Ken."

So I say "Well that's very sweet, but it's not my birthday."
But then....

Shit.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Why I cannot eat in the cafeteria at work

The cafeteria at work is really nice. They spent over a million dollars making it.
The food is provided by a major caterer who does many of the expensive hotels in the area. The prices are reasonable. But I cannot eat there.
It seems that when they ring your food up, the prices are really easy to remember. An entree costs a certain amount, regardless of what it is. The vegetables are the same way. Each one costs the same. The same with the potatoes, rice, baked potatoe or any other starch that you want. And the bread is the same way. If you get cornbread, it costs the same as a roll, or toast.
So if you are a cashier, all you have to remember is four prices. What a good idea.
But I can't eat there.

"What entree would you like?"
"Ummm...the chicken"
"And would you like any vegetables?"
"Ummm...yes, please. The corn and the spinach."
"And would you like a starch?"

And there it is.
Please do not refer to my food as 'a starch'.
Because if you do, I will not eat it.

"And would you like a starch?"
"No, and you can keep the entree and the vegetables. I no longer have an appetite."

Soliciting Advise

Tomorrow is payday.
According to my budget, I will pay off Credit Card number one tomorrow and start in on Credit Card number two. But that's where the problem is. Do I pay off the highest interest one or the lowest balance?
I will have three cards remaining. The lowest balance has the lowest interest. The middle balance has the middle interest. And the highest balance has the highest interest.
Normally I would think that the highest interest should be first. But then I started thinking...
(Oh, the humanity)
I owe a few thousand on each card, but my income is pretty good. So each card would only take a couple of months. So if I were to pay off the lower interest rate, it would pay off slightly quicker and the snowball effect could outweigh the higher interest rate. Couldn't it?
I know Dave Ramsey says to pay off the lower balance first, regardless of interest rate. That way you get the psychological boost of paying things off, and it reinforces your behavior, making it more likely that you will continue on your budget.

So here's what it will look like tomorrow: (approximately)
CC1: paid off
CC2: 2700 balance, 0% interest
CC3: 3500 balance, 8% interest
CC4: 5200 balance, 12% interest
Car: a lot.
Student Loans: even more than that.

So which one do I hit next, and more importantly, why? Keep in mind that I am paying more than $1600 extra per month on my credit cards above the minimum payments, so the time frame isn't as long as you might expect, so I don't mind paying an extra month's worth of interest if there is a good reason to do so.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

And the Answer Is...

This is the hail scale.
So when the weather man says "golfball sized hail" now you know that there are criteria for categorizing the size of the hail stones.

So the next one would be a melon, or a cantelope, depending on where you are from.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Ok, here's another geek riddle

What comes next in this finite series?

Pea, Mothball, Grape, Walnut, Pigeon egg, Golf Ball, Hen's Egg, Tennis ball, Soft Ball, Grapefruit, (what comes next?)

The problem with debt repayment plans

I think I have figured out where a lot of people have problems with paying off credit cards. Here's the scenario:
You decide to pay off your credit cards.
You sit down and make a budget.
You send off all of your payments just like you planned.
You are all hyped up over it.
And then...
It's two friggin weeks until your next payday. What do you do in the meantime?
You always used to go shopping, or go to starbucks, or whatever.
But now?

And that's the problem.

Thank God that this is not MY problem. It's just my observation of other people.

In fact, I still deny having a problem with my debt. I'm just paying it off because I want to.

Now how would you respond to this???

A frustrated young lady I know posted the following on her blog:


For Sale: One Used Husband
Current mood: pissed off

Here ya go ladies. A prime second hand pick up. One slightly used husband. He's a jumbo version, definately not for small apartments. You don't have to worry about exercising him. He's pretty low energy. He does occasionally go pee on the floor though, so watch your step. I've had no luck training him. He doesn't know any tricks, like taking out the trash or putting away dishes, but he is currently employed, which is something. If you can manage to wrangle him into the shower, he does clean up well. I will warn you though, he does shed a lot. He has a good personality, is very friendly and is good around kids.

Anyone interested should just email. You can even come by and see him to decide if he is your type. I'm not asking much for him. I do not accept returns under any circumstances.


Now how would you respond to this?
I say take him in to the vet and get him fixed.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Helium dot com

Does anyone know anything about Helium.com?
My friend at the Thai Food Store was asking about it. He says he thinks he would be a good writer for Helium. But how does it work? Can you actually make any money with it?

Jag got burned at work

Jagular: I think it's going to rain this morning. My bones have been popping every time I move, all night long.

Coworker: I think maybe you just have crappy bones.

Minor clarification

Just a small point here, but with the thirteen little boxes that I am marking off, this is my best estimate at this time. There are a number of factors in my budget that I can neither control nor predict. So as the time gets closer I will adjust the number of boxes based upon how things go in the meantime. It may be faster, or it may be slower. I think plus or minus two boxes would be more accurate.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Frannie Farmer said: You are brave - I can't even begin to think about writing down (or saying) my debt ...

And this made me think. Just a little bit, mind you, since I am somewhat averse to thinking. Mostly it made me think back and remember, which is more like daydreaming. Now daydreaming I can handle. It doesn't require too much effort, so I tend to do that more often than actual thinking. But anyhow, why would I want to write down all of the private details of my debt for all the world to see? And so that is the purpose of this post.

It's not so much that I am brave. I just don't really care. I look at is this way:
Anyone can look and see my debt on here. And is that a bad thing? My friends could look at it and then they would know how much debt I have. And then what? They could be helpful. That would be good. Or they could be derogatory. But then are they really my friends to start with? Would I really want someone like that as my friend? How about the people who regularly read my blog (if any). Would their reading about my level of debt affect what they think of me? Do I care if I lose readers over it? What if they talk about me?

To me, there is just not a lot of risk. The worst that can happen is that someone will look at how much debt I have and they could happen to be a person who works for a service that helps with debt relief and then they could send me an email offering me their services and I could hit the 'delete as spam' button. And while I admit that would be frustrating for all of three seconds, it isn't enough to make me refrain from posting about my debt. Because there is a lot of good that can happen.

The good that can come of it outweighs the bad. Someone could see that I am paying my debt off and offer me support. That would be good. They could offer me tips. Ok, that could be good or not, depending on if it is a good tip. I am a reasonably intelligent person, or at least I fancy myself one, so there is a good chance that I wouldn't need whichever tip someone offers, so if that were the case it still wouldn't be bad. It would be neutral.
Someone could look at my debt, and as they see me pay it off over a period of time, they could be inspired by it, and decide to pay off their debt. Or they could see that I am paying off my debt and also know that there is something that I want to buy and then stop me from buying it, that way they would keep me on track. And that one has already happened. (Thanks Leigh Ann.)

But for the most part, I am writing about my debt for my own selfish reasons. I learned a trick years ago that has made life easy for me. It works like this:
Whenever you have a problem with something, most of the problem is usually that you are keeping it a secret. Once you break the secret, the problem usually goes away on its own. I'll give you an example for illustration. Everyone who reads my blog should know by now that I am married. My wife is more or less the center of my life. I go out of my way to never put myself in a situation where I would be tempted to cheat on my wife. But I have a thing for blonds. I don't want to. I would like to only ever be attracted to my wife. And usually that is the case. But every now and then there will be a blond who will make my jaw drop. So how do you handle something like this? I told my wife about it. I explained it all to her and told her that I have no intention of ever being unfaithful to her. And you know what? Problem solved. And to boot, sometimes she will go blond for a while.
Now take it a step further. What if there was some really bad problem that someone had. What if someone was a freaky pervert? How did they get that way? Did they just wake up one day and decide that they wanted to be all screwed up? Or did they get there progressively? Did they start off with pornography and then start having strange fantasies? Did they then start picking up hookers and acting out those fantasies? And then did they then become a freaky pervert after all that? Well what would happen if to start with they had let people around them know that they had a problem with pornography? It seems to me that if you have a problem with porn and everyone around you knows about it, assuming you are hanging around with reasonably normal people, you would no longer have a problem with porn.

Anyhow, I think everyone got the idea now, so I won't run it into the ground. I'm not any sort of sociologist or anything. I'm just some guy who keeps a blog. So what do I know? But the world according to Jagular says that if you have a problem and you let everyone know about it, most of the problem is gone already.

So brave? I don't think so. Now everyone knows what kind of debt I have. But that helps me out in the long run. And if someone wants to read all about my debt and think badly of me, I would ask why in the world are they wasting their time reading some guy's boring blog for their own self-aggrandizement.

Monday, January 15, 2007

budget update

Oh wow, what a headache.
Christmas is always rough on my budget, because nobody gets sick over Christmas. I miss a lot of work because there are no patients in the hospital.
So needless to say, my budget got shot. I hadn't had time to build my emergency fund up enough yet, and we blew right through it.
But we had a good Christmas though, and I don't have any regrets. But now it's time to get back on track.
After the Christmas holidays, the car repairs, the missed work, and the anniversary, it's time to pay the piper. My debt, not counting car and student loans, stands at just a hair under 13 thousand dollars.
That's not too terrible. I thought it would be higher.
So if I plan to put my income tax refund into the debt hole and divide the rest out, it comes out to 13 paychecks on my current budget, give or take.
Getting paid every two weeks and considering that there are three paydays in March (5th week) that would put it to the end of June.
After that, it would take just under ten more paydays to pay off the car and then another ten to pay off the student loans. But I will cross that bridge when I get there. I refuse to add the debts all up. It would be over 40k all together. But I can handle 13k.
If I only pay my regular payments on the student loans they will be paid off in a couple of years anyway, since I am paying almost 900 a month on them as it is.

So I made a chart on a piece of paper with thirteen little boxes on it and then below that I made ten more, and then ten more below that. Then I stuck it to the front of the refrigerator. I made all of my payments and then marked off the first box with a great big 'X'

Wish me luck. I'm off and running. Five and a half months, twelve little boxes, and $12,242 left to go.

Not much going on

I worked all weekend.
It is very cold outside.
Sadam's brother got hung and his head popped off.
I am very tired this morning.
It is MLK's birthday.
I am going to bed.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Japanese

The Japanese have the best anime. They are the best pen spinners. They vie for the best gizmos in the world. Their robots look real. Would you like to be Japanese?
I wouldn't. I think being Japanese would really suck. If for no other reason, their game shows really suck.
Below is a clip from a Japanese game show. It takes place in a library, so one of the rules is that you have to remain quiet.
I would not suggest drinking or even holding a beverage while you watch this. It could harm your keyboard.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Rubiks Cube

When I lost a couple of finger tips I needed something that required a lot of manipulation so that I could work on my manual dexterity. I pulled out my Rubik's cube. Now this isn't just any Rubik's cube. It's special. It's from the early 80's. It's from Hungary, I think. I'll have to look it up. Anyhow, it has adjustable tension and the thing just won't explode no matter how fast you go on it.
Once upon a time I could do the thing in under thirty seconds. But that was a long time ago.

So I pulled the thing out to work on my dexterity as part of my occupational therapy, and instead developed a way to solve it with my other hand. Here is a video of me solving the rubiks cube in under 30 seconds, 95% of the way with my right hand. If you look closely, you can see the index and middle finger tip on my left hand are messed up.



Monday, January 08, 2007

Tagged by Leigh Ann

I was tagged by Leigh Ann. I am to disclose six weird things about myself. Just for the record, I am complying under protest due to the fact that I do not believe that this meme is fair. I do not have as many wierd attributes as some people.

1)My accent changes when I talk to different people, according to the accent of the person I am talking to. It's not unusual for a person from another country to ask me which part of his country I am from. I don't do it on purpose. This tendency has it's roots in that I have always had to dumb down my conversations for the sake of the other person. Changing accents is only the natural progression.

2)I interpret almost everything to mean the opposite of what was intended. It's a mind game I play. Not a mind game where I am playing mind games with you. A mind game where I am bored and I play games in my own mind for my own entertainment.
It's a little bit hard to understand, so I will give a real life example to make it more clear. You say: Studies have shown that twenty percent of the people do eighty percent of the work in any given task. I interpret: Whenever a job is to be done, there is a certain amount of work that constitutes the task. Twenty percent of the people in the world add four times as much work to the original job. For example, when I was involved with the speed solving the Rubik's Cube group, there was a discrepency in the definition of what constitutes a world record. Guinness had their rules for beating the official world record, and we had different rules, based on real life, instead of just on what seems right. Someone suggested that we form the official Rubik's cube association, so that we would be the ones in charge of making up the rules according to how they should be so that a world record would actually mean something. That sounds easy enough, I could do it all in an afternoon. But then came the "twenty percent who do eighty percent of the work". They decided that we needed a charter, bylaws, elections, board members, office holders, membership rosters, mission statements, vision statements, and even an office with a secretary, thereby needing membership dues, as well as official publications, etc, etc.
OK, screw that, it's a Rubiks Cube, not an olympic committee. Stop adding work. Anyhow, I interpret things the opposite of everyone else.

3)I am the only one who can prevent forest fires.

4)I enjoy music more than just about anything else in the world. In theory only. In actuality, there isn't much music that I actually like. But it's not the music's fault.

5)I give away a lot of money. Long term average is about two thousand dollars a month. But not just blindly though. I find people who are really needy and help them out. I'm not sure if this is a blessing or a curse, but I know it's weird.

6)I almost never forget anything that I have learned. I don't know if this is weird so much as uncanny. In fact, I don't forget much of anything at all.

Ok, I'm informed that it is time to eat. No more time for elaboration.

(I refuse to tag anyone this time. Call it a meme rebellion.)

Friday, January 05, 2007

Word of the Day

SCHMORANGE: (V)
1)To solve an old problem in a new way.
2)To create a solution to a problem by means of introducing a new method, especially when it is obvious that the method can only be used because it was not specifically disallowed in the original problem.

Monday, January 01, 2007

The dude built him a castle

When I was a kid we lived in a tiny little town called Sealy, Texas. Home of Eric Dickerson and the Sealy Mattress Company (which is no longer in Sealy. Instead they now have the Acme Brick Company, which by no small coincidence is located in my old house)
It was strange living in a small town. The population was in the five thousands. Not only did everyone know everyone else, but practically everyone was related, which is kind of gross.
Everyone knew everyone else's business. Everyone knew everyone else's phone number.
And it was really small. A mile or maybe a little more could get you to the other end of town. We never drove anywhere. We walked to school. We walked to the store.
Like I said, it was really strange.

If you've ever lived in a small town, you know that there is never anything to do. You have to make your own entertainment. And that's what makes for some really good stories later in life. That's how you develop unusual skills. You learn to do things like ride your bicycle up on top of the railroad track. Not on the bumpy part. On the skinny part. And then you go across the bridge. As you are doing it, you know that in the morning it's going to be the talk of the town. Either some kid rode his bicycle over the railroad bridge, up on top of the track, or some kid fell off the bridge. You can really come up with some amazing stories from living in a small town. You might walk the twelve miles over to Bellville (the rival town) and fertilize a cussword in the middle of the football field so that it will grow more than the rest of the field (and then walk the twelve miles back), or you might ask the newspaper editor to put something unusual in the paper so that you can make some money placing a bet on it the next morning.

I'm sure there is a point in here somewhere. Oh yes, I remember it now.

Some guy built himself a castle. By hand.


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So next time you are in Bellville, Texas, stop in the donut shop and ask Newman about his castle. I bet he would even take you out to go see it.

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