Conversations at work

I was at work the other day and the talk was about the recent items in the news related to immigration. I was talking to an immigrant from Korea. We were only having a very slight technical disagreement...at first.
My point was that if you sneak into the country, no matter what your intentions, you are a criminal and should be, at the least, deported. At the most, arrested, sentenced, serve your time, and then deported.
His point was that the main problem was that the immigrants should focus more on bettering their community, and then Americans would not be apt to want to deport them.
So, while not entirely disagreeing with him, I countered with the arguement that if they focused on their community, Americans would be more apt to increase the number of immigrants who could come here each year legally, but the illegal ones should still be deported, just due to the fact that they are illegal.
It was a minor difference of opinion at that point. But then the redneck in me came out, and it degenerated quickly.
I said to him, "Look at the Oriental people. They come over here and set themselves up working. They take care of their family and community. They work hard and send their kids to college. By the second generation, they have it made. But if one of them came over here illegally, they should still be deported."
So how did he reply to that?
"Asian people. You said 'oriental'. There is oriental food. There are oriental rugs. People are Asian."
"Well," I countered, "What about people from Russia? Russia is part of Asia. Are Russians Asian people, too? What about Afghanistan? Are they Asian? I was referring to people from 'the orient', and hence the word 'oriental'."
"No, you would have to call them Russians, Afghanis, and then use Asian and not oriental. It's just that simple."

"Oh, hell," I said. "It don't matter anyway, because you are in Texas. You're Chinese."
"So Texans call every Asian person Chinese? Isn't that overly simplistic, having only one way to refer to many different people?"
"No," I said, "we don't just have one way. We have two. If your eyes slant downwards, you are Chinese, and if they go more up, then you are Japanese. See, we aren't simplistic. We have two kinds of everything."
"Everything?"
"Everything."
"So what if someone was from Argentina?"
"Spanish."
"Chile?"
"Spanish."
"Brazil?"
"Spanish."
"They speak Portugese."
"Still Spanish."
"So you said there are two kinds. What is the other kind?"
"You got two kinds of Spanish people. Legal, and illegal."
"Two kinds of Canadians?"
"French and English."
"Black people?"
"Black and Nigerian."
"What if they are from Kenya?"
"Nigerian."
"Rwanda?"
"Nigerian."
"What about people from England?"
"European."
"Two kinds of European?"
"French and English."
"Ok then. Two kinds of Americans?"
"That would depend on which side of the Mason-Dixon line you are from."
"What about people from Cambodia?"
"Do their eyes slant more up or down?"
"Damn, Ken, you suck."

-it ain't easy-