The Birthday Trip

Ok, here's the whole story, as best as I can remember it:

My wife's birthday was on Thursday. So for her birthday I planned out a little "mini-vacation/getaway for two".
First I called my brother and asked if he could babysit while we were gone. He said he would be happy to. Then I called my wife's mother and let her know that we weren't going to be home. That way, she wouldn't send flowers or stop by for my wife's birthday. I called the hotel and made reservations, and then I made a mental list of everything we should bring with us. This was all on Teusday.
Ok, so far so good. Now remember, my wife was totally in the dark about all of this. It was all to be a surprise. The only part that she knew about was that her birthday was coming up.
So I told her that I needed to go to the store and shop for her birthday presents. So I went and bought her some sentimental gifts and put them in the back of the van nice and safe (my favorite hiding place)
Then I called my wife on my cell and asked her if it would be OK if my brother came over for the night because he wanted to get some files off of my computer. I told her it was some pretty big gaming files, so it would take forever for him to download them from me, so it would be better if he just brought over his computer and hooked up to our home-network and transferred the files across the network.
Then he could spend time with the kids while they transferred. He's got to go back home first thing in the morning though, I assured her.
"I guess." she told me, in that voice that says she would rather not, but she's willing to if it's important to me.
We hid his bags in the back of my other van (My second favorite hiding place)
and went in the house, remembering to take his computer in with us.
I spent quite a while packing some bags up in secret and sneaking them out to the van. Then I made sure to pack my wife's medicine. I left gave my brother a stack of money in case they needed anything, and then I hid my wife's cell phone so she wouldn't be able to bring it with her. Then my brother and kids could get in touch with us easily if they had to because of the friends and family plan, we wouldn't get charged for minutes.
Then I told my wife that we were out of milk and that I was going to go up to the corner store to get some. Did she want anything while I was up there? Or she could come with me if she wanted to. She said she would like to come with me, since my brother was there, we could go without the kids, which is a rare thing.
So I made sure the kids gave her a hug and a kiss before we left, and I got her into the van. Oops, I said, I forgot my keys in the house. I'll be right back. But I told her that her birthday presents were in the back of the van so she was on her honor not to peek while I was inside. But she's not the type to peek. Which is good, because our luggage was back there.
I went in to "get the keys" and called the kids over and told them what was up and that we would be back in a few days. They were cool with that because my brother is the favorite uncle and they knew that they would have a blast with him. (yes candy, no bedtime)
So I took off with my wife and the first thing that she noticed was that I didn't turn the right way to get to the corner store.
So I told her I need to get some money out of the bank to buy the milk, and I'm going to the other store that has our bank's ATM in it so I don't have to pay a fee to make a withdrawl. Why would I want to pay to get my own money out of the bank?
Then we stopped at the other store and I gassed up and bought some cokes for the ride. I didn't buy any milk though, so I had to make sure they bagged the stuff up and then I put the bag in the back seat really fast so she wouldn't notice.
And then when we pulled out, we went AWAY FROM the house.
Ok, now there was no mistaking it.
Where are we going?
What do you mean?
Home is that way.
We're not going home.
Where are we going?
What makes you think we are going anywhere?
And so on...
So we drove. It's about seventy miles to the coast. I made it about thirty before she decided we were going to a hotel for her birthday.
But you know that my birthday isn't for two days.
So I gave her a stupid smile.
But you said your brother has to be back home tomorrow.
Another stupid smile.
And so you lied to me?
And so giving my best Forrest Gump impersonation I told her that momma said it was just a little white lie and didn't really hurt nobody.
And so eventually the road signs all started saying Galveston on them and she pretty much had it. So she asked me to tell her the name of the hotel and then she wouldn't ask any more questions.
So I told her. It's the San Luis hotel in Galveston.
But I already knew that she didn't know any of the Galveston hotels, so I was still pretty safe.
And of course, I knew that she didn't know that the hotel was right on the water.
So we got to Galveston and drove all the way across the island until we reached the southern coast. And we turned and drove down the seawall blvd. Then we came to the spot where most of the hotels are, all in a row. She asked which one is ours. So I told her to tell me when she saw which one she liked.
So I said, there's the holiday inn....there's the ramada...there's the day's inn...etc.
And then she said, "There. That's the one I like right there."
"oh, I said. That's the San Luis hotel"

We pulled up and three valets came over. One to park the car and two for the luggage. But I can carry my own bags, thank you.
There is a long ramp up to the front entrance and as we went up it, she was looking at all of the fountains and plants in the front. She was quite impressed with it.
"But one more thing," I told her, "This isn't really the San Luis Hotel. This is the San Luis RESORT. With SPA."
As we went in the front door, the scent of Lavender was pretty strong in the air.
"Smells expensive." she said.
Now I could have gotten by with the regular room. But what the heck. I booked the deluxe. It's the corner room, facing the water, with a private balcony and a bar.



And a nice view.

The really cool part is that everywhere you go, there are more surprises.
There are over thirty acres of property. The landscaping is beautiful, while at the same time being set up for privacy.



There is a heated pool with a waterfall and a bar in the pool.


And inside the hotel there are little surprises around every corner.
From the player piano with the statue who plays it....


....to the giant bird cage with the world's stupidest bird....

....to the decorations drawn in the ashtrays in the lobby.

It was just really well done. The hotel staff was absolutely professional. And if you were walking down a hallway and they were coming the other way, no matter what they were doing they would stop, step all the way over to the side of the hallway, and stand quietly with their hands folded until you passed.
And my wife just ate it all up.
By the time we got checked in and made it to our room, it was after 7pm. We decided to go eat and just get settled in today.
So there is an expensive little steakhouse down in the lobby. Four diamonds. Nice.
We had three waiters at our table all the time. The service just never stopped. They even peeled my wife's lobster for her.
I was really proud of my wife. She tried the escargot. Now if you don't like it, nobody ever has to know. But if it's good, then you can tell everyone that you tried it. I tried it too. It was my first time to taste escargot.
To me it kind of tastes like a cross between a mushroom and a twenty dollar bill.
But the wine....wow. I had two glasses and it knocked my across the room. It was either the best steak I ever had in my life or the best wine. Maybe both. Wow.
When we finished eating it was like ten oclock. The (help me spell this one....) Maitre D got us and took us across the back way to the hotel elevator. I guess we were pretty drunk. By we, I kind of mean I. But like I said, I only had two glassees of wine. I just wasn't prepared for the quality of it. I wasn't so much drunk as the wine went to my head. Fifteen minutes later, I was fine.
Wow. And that was day one.

When I woke up the next morning, my wife was out on the balcony.
We went down and ate in the little cafe they had downstairs and then went exploring. We found the spa.
It has it's own elevator.
It has it's own stairs.
It is big. It smells like a woman. It is expensive.
My wife got an appointment to get her hair done, and then we went and sat out by the pool for a while.
She ended up getting her hair highlighted in different shades of blond with a few red strands running through.
"Sassy and a little bit mysterious"
That's how she described it.
Then we went shopping for her a new outfit. We found some good bargains on the island.
We spent quite a bit of quiet time together and then went out to eat next door at the Rainforest Cafe. It has a volcano on top and a jungle inside.


And every half hour or so the volcano erupts on top.

It doesn't sound like a really busy day, but it was, because it took a few hours to get her hair done, and we drove around doing shopping for a few hours, too.
And then we went to bed, with her wondering what I had in store for her the next day on her birthday. I was kind of wondering the same thing myself.

On Thursday I woke up to room service banging on the door. I had forgotten that we had hung an order form on the door the night before. But we had put down for them to bring it at about ten or ten thirty, and here it is freakin nine AM and they are delivering the food. That was the only real screw up the whole time we were there.
It worked out OK though and we weren't at all upset about it.
Then I had to go down to the valet and get the van to get her presents out.
But what she didn't know is that while I was down there I talked to the concierge and they made some arrangements for me.
Shelley (that's my wife's name) had a one oclock appointment in the spa and was supposed to be there for three hours. So I figured four thirty.
So after breakfast we got dressed and went down to the seawall for a walk along the beach. Wheelchairs and sand are not made for each other, so we walked along the seawall walkway. It was nice, because it was the first day that the sun was really out. It wasn't icky the other days. Just mostly cloudy. Not dreary at all though.
But this day we got a bit of sun and had a lot of fun watching people do stupid things.


It was a lot of fun, but then we had to get back to make Shelley's appointment at the spa.
She got a manicure and a pedicure, as well as a one hour facial. She looked like a million bucks afterwards.
She twisted my arm and made me get a swedish massage while I was there.
"You're getting a massage. You can either get one here, or I will give you a BEAT MASSAGE when we get out of here."
It was very relaxing, but rather awkward being undressed in a room with a woman who is not my wife, even if I remained covered the whole time. Call me old-fashioned, I don't care.
After Shelley was finished at the spa, we went back to the lobby, and I had to piddle-fart around and stall until four thirty, and then talked her into going out front. She actually made it easy to talk her into it, because she said she was getting hungry, so I suggested we go get the van from the valet and go drive through somewhere.
When we went down the long ramp to the valet, she saw parked down there a great big stretch limo.
Now Shelley has always had a thing for limo's. "oooh, look, a limo"
Every time she sees a limo she says, "one of these days....."
She's been doing that for ten years now.
So she sees the limo at the end of the ramp and say's oooh, look, a limo. So I said to her, "you'd think it was someone's birthday or something."
And then the driver comes out and goes, "should I put the wheelchair in the back?"
Suddenly Shelley is speechless, which is quite a feat.
Before she knows it, the driver has her in the back of the limo and puts the wheelchair in the trunk.

I ask him to just drive around the island for a little while.
Shelley sat there for a good twenty minutes just silently staring out the window. I think she was in shock or something.

And then she started playing with the buttons.


And then she says she wants him to drive past where there are a lot of people so that they can all stare at her in a limo.
It was really funny, but he did it for her.
So Shelley, true to form, says, "Where can we go so that people can see me get out of it?"
So we decided to go out to eat. The driver took us to Willie G's, which is a great seafood place. He pulled the limo up across the railroad tracks, down the sidewalk, and right up to the door. Then he got out, chased away any bystanders, got out the wheelchair, and unloaded Shelley in style. He then proceeded to push her in the wheelchair all the way into the restaurant past everyone waiting to be seated and took her over to a table for six out on the patio and seated her himself. Then he went and found the waiter and brought them over to take our order. I don't know how he pulled that off. He really had it down though.
After we ate, we got back in the limo and he drove us through the hood. Now that was a riot. People came out of the woodwork and out to the street to watch us go by. The driver slowed way down so they could admire the car, but I think mostly because Shelley was enjoying being the center of attention so much.
Then he gave us a whole tour of the island and brought us back to the hotel.

Ok, HUGE TIP.

After that, we went and saw the sunset. It was the first good sunset we saw the whole time, because of the clouds on the other days.


And then after that we went down and sat in the hot tub up under the waterfall for a couple of hours or so.
Skinny dipping? Nope. Uh-uh. No way.

And then off to bed. Our last night on the island.

I woke up the next morning to Shelley crying. It turned out that it all finally settled in on her. She said she could believe that I did all of this for her and that I had really gotten her a limo. That made it all worthwhile.
And what else can I say?

We packed up and left. We drove straight home, except we stopped and bought the kids each a new bicycle.
Oh, and we also picked up a gallon of milk.

"Thank you for the best three days of my life."