Tool boxes for women

Ok, Cinthia asked if they have tool boxes for women. Now let me just say to start off with that I'm opposed to the whole idea of women having toolboxes. I mean seriously, folks, what would happen if women learned how to fix everything? I'd be out of a job. See, I know that if I want to impress my wife, all I have to do is break out the tools.
If we get into a fight, something aroung here is getting fixed. I don't know what it is, but for some reason, the sight of a sweaty guy with no shirt on, taking something apart, fixing it, and putting it back together always seems to be what women really want in the world. I think it goes back to that basic, carnal instinct that says, "I want someone to take care of me." But hell, I'm just an old redneck boy from Texas, so what do I know? So then, here we go, toolboxes for women...

It would have to be something small. Not too heavy. Something that could be organized. You know, can't just have the tools all heaped up in a pile. And something clever. Nothing at all like this:

Can you see the testosterone dripping off of this thing?
Furthermore, it has to be practical. Are you able to bust loose a stuck screw? Maybe you want something electrical.

See how this is perfect for most women? It even comes in yellow. And no guy would own one. If guys want screwdrivers, they prefer a screwdriver set.

See how macho with all the different pieces? You must know a lot to have all those screwdrivers. I bet you could build something big with all of those.

And then you need something to carry it all in. Something that has drawers.


And then you get yourself one of those clicky little label makers and label where everything goes in it.

And there you have it, the perfect toolbox for women.

And now, how does a woman effectively USE a toolbox?
Women use toolboxes differently than men do. See, men have toolboxes for 50% fixing, and 50% bragging. Women use toolboxes for 50% fixing and 50% getting their boyfriend off the couch.
Here's how it works:
Cinthia: Baloo, will you fix the doorhandle in the bathroom? It's all loose and wobbly.
Baloo: I will after a while.
Cinthia: You said that two days ago! I need it to be fixed. (pout)
Baloo: I'll get to it.
Cinthia: Ok, Fine. I'll do it myself! (Goes and gets the "toolbox for women")
Baloo: (feeling territorial) What are you doing?
Cinthia: If you aren't going to fix the doorknob, I will.
Baloo: (suddenly off of the couch and following Cinthia) Do you know how to fix it?
Cinthia: How hard can it be? Seriously! (Start taking off random screws, parts, nuts, and anything that you can get loose, and making a pile on the floor)
Baloo: Here, I'll do it.
Cinthia: NO! You go watch your precious ballgame. I'll do it. (mumbling something about "my next boyfriend will know how to fix a stupid doorknob")
Baloo: (feeling territorial and somewhat threatened) Ok, I got it. (violently shoving Cinthia out of the way and fixing the doorknob)
Cinthia: (quietly watching)
Baloo: Ok, good as new.
Cinthia Oh, you did a great job, Baloo. And would you look at the drippy faucet?
Baloo: Yes, right away.
(Nothing in your house will ever stay broken again.)