Underneath the Mistletoe

Ok, so today I went and did all of the shopping for Christmas decorations. Ornaments, lights, manger, nutcrackers. Check, check, check, check.
Mistletoe. Well, funny thing happened today.
I went and got all of the hardware from walmart, but I didn't want to get mistletoe there, because all they had were these cheap little plastic mistletoes that looked more like toy salad. But since we had decided to get a real tree, and a flocked one at that, I figured I could just pick up a real, live mistletoe at the garden center down the street where they sell the flocked trees. That's what I figured anyway.
So I went into the garden store, found a nice tree, and then looked around for some mistletoe. I couldn't find any. I found the guy who worked there and asked him. And it just went downhill from there. You see, if I asked for mistletoe and he just said "no" everything would be fine. Or if he said "yes" it would be just great.
But that would have taken English. But this guy was apparantly new to this country. That's ok though. He was just doing the jobs that nobody here wants to do.

Salesman: Can I hep jew?
Jag: Yes, do you have any mistletoe?
Salesman: Yeah, man, we got da real toe ones. Like twelve feet and stuff.
Jag: No. Mistletoe. Do you have any mistletoe?
Salesman: Sure, man. Jest how toe you wan it?
Jag: No. Not tall. Mistletoe. You hang it on the ceiling and kiss people.
Salesman: Ok, da toe ones are over der and all da short ones are up here.
(In walks the manager. Also new to this country.)
Manager: Wussup?
Salesman: He wansa know how toe da tchrees are.
Manager: Yeah, we got da real toe tchrees outside over here. Some is like twelve feet toe.
Salesman: Das wat I toe him but he done b'leeve me.
Jag: No. Mistletoe. Hang. Kiss.
Manager: Cmon, man, I chow you da real toe tchrees.
Jag: (Whimper)
Salesman: How toe you want da tchree?
Jag: I just want this tree over here and I'll be going. I still have to stop at walmart and get some toy salad.