Christmas Carols

It all started one day as I was walking through the supermarket. They were playing music overhead and I suddenly realized that they were playing Christmas carols. Except that the one they were playing was some guy singing a carol and changing the words to what he obviously thought was a more modern day approach to it. I always hate that. Why can't they just leave things alone? It really made me mad.

But then I realized...

If they can do it, why can't I? I mean, if it upsets me, who rarely ever gets upset, what would it do to a mere mortal? So I decided to test it out.

I waited until just the right moment. My wife and I were sitting, watching TV and the show had just ended. I began to sing:

In the meadow we can build a snowman.
And pretend that he is Parson Brown.
He'll say are you married
We'll say no way...

The reaction was instantaeous. It was heartfelt. It was painful.
I decided to try my luck again later in the night.

Oh the weather outside is frightful
But your kiss is... also frightful.

I tell you, Hell hath no wrath.
So how would the kids react?

Jack Frost roasting on an open fire.

Kids have even faster reactions than adults do sometimes. "Daddy, if you aren't going to sing it right, don't sing it at all."

So I tried one more time.

Outside the snow is falling
and friends are calling wassuuuuuuup

Ok, well now I give up. I'm out of ideas.