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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Did you ever just want to write a complaint letter?

Now you, too can write a long, meaningful complaint letter with just a click of the mouse. How long do you want the letter to be? Who is it about? Click here and you are done. I entered in AT&T and set it for three paragraphs. Let's see what it can do for me...

I just want a little editorial balance here. Let me cut to the chase: AT&T seems to be expressing an irrational preference for remaining in some previous century while the rest of the world hurtles forward. Period, finis, and Q.E.D. In many ways, I have a scientist's respect for objective truth. That's why I'm telling you that some of us have an opportunity to come in contact with headlong boisterous-types on a regular basis at work or in school. We, therefore, may be able to gain some insight into the way they think, into their values; we may be able to understand why they want to perpetuate the myth that embracing a system of Stalinism will make everything right with the world.

It is a figment of AT&T's runaway imagination that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters. In that context, one could say that it has been doing "in-depth research" (whatever it thinks that means) to prove that superstition is no less credible than proven scientific principles. I should mention that I've been doing some research of my own. So far, I've "discovered" that AT&T's writings are a house of mirrors. How are we to find the opening that leads to freedom? It is only when one has an answer to that question is it possible to make sense of AT&T's strictures because everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of AT&T". In it, I chronicle all of AT&T's machinations, from the litigious to the childish, and conclude that slatternly, audacious scalawags and what I call spiteful twaddlers will join forces sooner than you think to subject human beings to indignities. Now, that's a strong conclusion to draw just from the evidence I've presented in this letter. So let me corroborate it by saying that if you'll allow me a minor dysphemism, nothing makes my blood boil more than seeing AT&T instill a subconscious feeling of guilt in those of us who disagree with its perversions. Or, to phrase that a little more politely, knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That's why it's important for you to know that AT&T may be reasonably cunning with words. However, it is thoroughly harebrained with everything else. Woe to the nefarious slanderers who endorse a complete system of leadership by mobocracy! This is not the same as saying that inherent in our legal construction of phallocentrism is the notion that AT&T must think that the world has no memory, although that, too, is true. AT&T just keeps on saying, "We don't give a [expletive deleted] about you. We just want to legitimate irresponsibility, laziness, and infidelity."

For that reason, AT&T has been deluding people into believing that it could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. Don't let it delude you, too. It should come as no big shock to anyone that what I call wayward, disorganized poxy-types serve as the priests in AT&T's cult of reprehensible paternalism. These "priests" spend their days basking in AT&T's reflected glory, pausing only when AT&T instructs them to trade fundamental human rights for a cheap "guarantee" of safety and security. What could be more purblind? You know the answer, don't you? You probably also know that if it is victorious in its quest to descend to character assassination and name calling, then its crown will be the funeral wreath of humanity. People who are attacked by querulous nobodies basically have three options. They can ignore the attacks, engage the attackers in a debate, or apply some sanction which will put an end to the attack. The truth hurts, doesn't it, AT&T? We cannot afford to waste our time, resources, and energy by dwelling upon inequities of the past. Instead, we must test the assumptions that underlie AT&T's intimations. Doing so would be significantly easier if more people were to understand that it's possible that AT&T doesn't realize this because it has been ingrained with so much of careerism's propaganda. If that's the case, I recommend that we condemn -- without hesitation, without remorse -- all those who shatter other people's lives and dreams. In a nutshell, AT&T cares for us in the same way that fleas care about dogs.

2 Comments:

At October 11, 2006 12:16 PM, Blogger Save Sheila said...

That's actually funny! I had problems with AT&T a while back and I had to threaten them with a lawsuit before they stopped billing me for service I had stopped receiving six months before. That's a neat letter, though!

 
At October 12, 2006 6:20 PM, Blogger skinnylittleblonde said...

No doubt!
I don't do AT&T, Bellsouth or Bank of America.
It's MY money that I work for & I will spend it all along the way in this roadtrip called life... it was up to them & their customer no-service to NOT get a piece of my money pie.
BTW, I have never had an account with Bank of America, but worked for a company that did & I found their practices ridiculous.

 

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