The Birthday Trip

Ok, here's the whole story, as best as I can remember it:

My wife's birthday was on Thursday. So for her birthday I planned out a little "mini-vacation/getaway for two".
First I called my brother and asked if he could babysit while we were gone. He said he would be happy to. Then I called my wife's mother and let her know that we weren't going to be home. That way, she wouldn't send flowers or stop by for my wife's birthday. I called the hotel and made reservations, and then I made a mental list of everything we should bring with us. This was all on Teusday.
Ok, so far so good. Now remember, my wife was totally in the dark about all of this. It was all to be a surprise. The only part that she knew about was that her birthday was coming up.
So I told her that I needed to go to the store and shop for her birthday presents. So I went and bought her some sentimental gifts and put them in the back of the van nice and safe (my favorite hiding place)
Then I called my wife on my cell and asked her if it would be OK if my brother came over for the night because he wanted to get some files off of my computer. I told her it was some pretty big gaming files, so it would take forever for him to download them from me, so it would be better if he just brought over his computer and hooked up to our home-network and transferred the files across the network.
Then he could spend time with the kids while they transferred. He's got to go back home first thing in the morning though, I assured her.
"I guess." she told me, in that voice that says she would rather not, but she's willing to if it's important to me.
We hid his bags in the back of my other van (My second favorite hiding place)
and went in the house, remembering to take his computer in with us.
I spent quite a while packing some bags up in secret and sneaking them out to the van. Then I made sure to pack my wife's medicine. I left gave my brother a stack of money in case they needed anything, and then I hid my wife's cell phone so she wouldn't be able to bring it with her. Then my brother and kids could get in touch with us easily if they had to because of the friends and family plan, we wouldn't get charged for minutes.
Then I told my wife that we were out of milk and that I was going to go up to the corner store to get some. Did she want anything while I was up there? Or she could come with me if she wanted to. She said she would like to come with me, since my brother was there, we could go without the kids, which is a rare thing.
So I made sure the kids gave her a hug and a kiss before we left, and I got her into the van. Oops, I said, I forgot my keys in the house. I'll be right back. But I told her that her birthday presents were in the back of the van so she was on her honor not to peek while I was inside. But she's not the type to peek. Which is good, because our luggage was back there.
I went in to "get the keys" and called the kids over and told them what was up and that we would be back in a few days. They were cool with that because my brother is the favorite uncle and they knew that they would have a blast with him. (yes candy, no bedtime)
So I took off with my wife and the first thing that she noticed was that I didn't turn the right way to get to the corner store.
So I told her I need to get some money out of the bank to buy the milk, and I'm going to the other store that has our bank's ATM in it so I don't have to pay a fee to make a withdrawl. Why would I want to pay to get my own money out of the bank?
Then we stopped at the other store and I gassed up and bought some cokes for the ride. I didn't buy any milk though, so I had to make sure they bagged the stuff up and then I put the bag in the back seat really fast so she wouldn't notice.
And then when we pulled out, we went AWAY FROM the house.
Ok, now there was no mistaking it.
Where are we going?
What do you mean?
Home is that way.
We're not going home.
Where are we going?
What makes you think we are going anywhere?
And so on...
So we drove. It's about seventy miles to the coast. I made it about thirty before she decided we were going to a hotel for her birthday.
But you know that my birthday isn't for two days.
So I gave her a stupid smile.
But you said your brother has to be back home tomorrow.
Another stupid smile.
And so you lied to me?
And so giving my best Forrest Gump impersonation I told her that momma said it was just a little white lie and didn't really hurt nobody.
And so eventually the road signs all started saying Galveston on them and she pretty much had it. So she asked me to tell her the name of the hotel and then she wouldn't ask any more questions.
So I told her. It's the San Luis hotel in Galveston.
But I already knew that she didn't know any of the Galveston hotels, so I was still pretty safe.
And of course, I knew that she didn't know that the hotel was right on the water.
So we got to Galveston and drove all the way across the island until we reached the southern coast. And we turned and drove down the seawall blvd. Then we came to the spot where most of the hotels are, all in a row. She asked which one is ours. So I told her to tell me when she saw which one she liked.
So I said, there's the holiday inn....there's the ramada...there's the day's inn...etc.
And then she said, "There. That's the one I like right there."
"oh, I said. That's the San Luis hotel"

We pulled up and three valets came over. One to park the car and two for the luggage. But I can carry my own bags, thank you.
There is a long ramp up to the front entrance and as we went up it, she was looking at all of the fountains and plants in the front. She was quite impressed with it.
"But one more thing," I told her, "This isn't really the San Luis Hotel. This is the San Luis RESORT. With SPA."
As we went in the front door, the scent of Lavender was pretty strong in the air.
"Smells expensive." she said.
Now I could have gotten by with the regular room. But what the heck. I booked the deluxe. It's the corner room, facing the water, with a private balcony and a bar.



And a nice view.

The really cool part is that everywhere you go, there are more surprises.
There are over thirty acres of property. The landscaping is beautiful, while at the same time being set up for privacy.



There is a heated pool with a waterfall and a bar in the pool.


And inside the hotel there are little surprises around every corner.
From the player piano with the statue who plays it....


....to the giant bird cage with the world's stupidest bird....

....to the decorations drawn in the ashtrays in the lobby.

It was just really well done. The hotel staff was absolutely professional. And if you were walking down a hallway and they were coming the other way, no matter what they were doing they would stop, step all the way over to the side of the hallway, and stand quietly with their hands folded until you passed.
And my wife just ate it all up.
By the time we got checked in and made it to our room, it was after 7pm. We decided to go eat and just get settled in today.
So there is an expensive little steakhouse down in the lobby. Four diamonds. Nice.
We had three waiters at our table all the time. The service just never stopped. They even peeled my wife's lobster for her.
I was really proud of my wife. She tried the escargot. Now if you don't like it, nobody ever has to know. But if it's good, then you can tell everyone that you tried it. I tried it too. It was my first time to taste escargot.
To me it kind of tastes like a cross between a mushroom and a twenty dollar bill.
But the wine....wow. I had two glasses and it knocked my across the room. It was either the best steak I ever had in my life or the best wine. Maybe both. Wow.
When we finished eating it was like ten oclock. The (help me spell this one....) Maitre D got us and took us across the back way to the hotel elevator. I guess we were pretty drunk. By we, I kind of mean I. But like I said, I only had two glassees of wine. I just wasn't prepared for the quality of it. I wasn't so much drunk as the wine went to my head. Fifteen minutes later, I was fine.
Wow. And that was day one.

When I woke up the next morning, my wife was out on the balcony.
We went down and ate in the little cafe they had downstairs and then went exploring. We found the spa.
It has it's own elevator.
It has it's own stairs.
It is big. It smells like a woman. It is expensive.
My wife got an appointment to get her hair done, and then we went and sat out by the pool for a while.
She ended up getting her hair highlighted in different shades of blond with a few red strands running through.
"Sassy and a little bit mysterious"
That's how she described it.
Then we went shopping for her a new outfit. We found some good bargains on the island.
We spent quite a bit of quiet time together and then went out to eat next door at the Rainforest Cafe. It has a volcano on top and a jungle inside.


And every half hour or so the volcano erupts on top.

It doesn't sound like a really busy day, but it was, because it took a few hours to get her hair done, and we drove around doing shopping for a few hours, too.
And then we went to bed, with her wondering what I had in store for her the next day on her birthday. I was kind of wondering the same thing myself.

On Thursday I woke up to room service banging on the door. I had forgotten that we had hung an order form on the door the night before. But we had put down for them to bring it at about ten or ten thirty, and here it is freakin nine AM and they are delivering the food. That was the only real screw up the whole time we were there.
It worked out OK though and we weren't at all upset about it.
Then I had to go down to the valet and get the van to get her presents out.
But what she didn't know is that while I was down there I talked to the concierge and they made some arrangements for me.
Shelley (that's my wife's name) had a one oclock appointment in the spa and was supposed to be there for three hours. So I figured four thirty.
So after breakfast we got dressed and went down to the seawall for a walk along the beach. Wheelchairs and sand are not made for each other, so we walked along the seawall walkway. It was nice, because it was the first day that the sun was really out. It wasn't icky the other days. Just mostly cloudy. Not dreary at all though.
But this day we got a bit of sun and had a lot of fun watching people do stupid things.


It was a lot of fun, but then we had to get back to make Shelley's appointment at the spa.
She got a manicure and a pedicure, as well as a one hour facial. She looked like a million bucks afterwards.
She twisted my arm and made me get a swedish massage while I was there.
"You're getting a massage. You can either get one here, or I will give you a BEAT MASSAGE when we get out of here."
It was very relaxing, but rather awkward being undressed in a room with a woman who is not my wife, even if I remained covered the whole time. Call me old-fashioned, I don't care.
After Shelley was finished at the spa, we went back to the lobby, and I had to piddle-fart around and stall until four thirty, and then talked her into going out front. She actually made it easy to talk her into it, because she said she was getting hungry, so I suggested we go get the van from the valet and go drive through somewhere.
When we went down the long ramp to the valet, she saw parked down there a great big stretch limo.
Now Shelley has always had a thing for limo's. "oooh, look, a limo"
Every time she sees a limo she says, "one of these days....."
She's been doing that for ten years now.
So she sees the limo at the end of the ramp and say's oooh, look, a limo. So I said to her, "you'd think it was someone's birthday or something."
And then the driver comes out and goes, "should I put the wheelchair in the back?"
Suddenly Shelley is speechless, which is quite a feat.
Before she knows it, the driver has her in the back of the limo and puts the wheelchair in the trunk.

I ask him to just drive around the island for a little while.
Shelley sat there for a good twenty minutes just silently staring out the window. I think she was in shock or something.

And then she started playing with the buttons.


And then she says she wants him to drive past where there are a lot of people so that they can all stare at her in a limo.
It was really funny, but he did it for her.
So Shelley, true to form, says, "Where can we go so that people can see me get out of it?"
So we decided to go out to eat. The driver took us to Willie G's, which is a great seafood place. He pulled the limo up across the railroad tracks, down the sidewalk, and right up to the door. Then he got out, chased away any bystanders, got out the wheelchair, and unloaded Shelley in style. He then proceeded to push her in the wheelchair all the way into the restaurant past everyone waiting to be seated and took her over to a table for six out on the patio and seated her himself. Then he went and found the waiter and brought them over to take our order. I don't know how he pulled that off. He really had it down though.
After we ate, we got back in the limo and he drove us through the hood. Now that was a riot. People came out of the woodwork and out to the street to watch us go by. The driver slowed way down so they could admire the car, but I think mostly because Shelley was enjoying being the center of attention so much.
Then he gave us a whole tour of the island and brought us back to the hotel.

Ok, HUGE TIP.

After that, we went and saw the sunset. It was the first good sunset we saw the whole time, because of the clouds on the other days.


And then after that we went down and sat in the hot tub up under the waterfall for a couple of hours or so.
Skinny dipping? Nope. Uh-uh. No way.

And then off to bed. Our last night on the island.

I woke up the next morning to Shelley crying. It turned out that it all finally settled in on her. She said she could believe that I did all of this for her and that I had really gotten her a limo. That made it all worthwhile.
And what else can I say?

We packed up and left. We drove straight home, except we stopped and bought the kids each a new bicycle.
Oh, and we also picked up a gallon of milk.

"Thank you for the best three days of my life."

My wife's birthday is coming up

It's going to be my wife's birthday on Thursday. That's always a big deal around here. It's become a tradition around here to try to outdo yourself when it comes to planning each other's birthday. Last time I got my wife front row tickets to WWE RAW, because they came to town on the week of her birthday. We had a blast going to see them. My wife and children really get into professional wrestling (i don't, of course)
But it's hard to outdo.
How do you compete with baby oil, sweat, blood, and men in tights?
This year, I'm planning a surprise trip. We will be leaving Tuesday night and won't be back until Friday morning. There's this nice hotel down in Galveston that I think she will enjoy. It's right on the water, and it has a nice steak house, day spa, private balconies, room service, pool, and no kids. I would like to rent a limo and get her a tour of the island. She's always wanted to ride in a limo.
I got the motivation from Leigh Ann. Her photo of the drink (Shirley Temple) made me start wishing I was there.
So that's what I'm doing.
Now all I need is a babysitter. And to pack the bags without her knowing. And make reservations. And get some cash for blowing.
But keep in mind, I had to save up for this.
I hope she enjoys it.

Breaking in my new bar-b-que, Texas Style

There is no food in the world that even comes close to a good ole Texas style steak, hot off the barbie. If you don't believe me, you've never had one. There's no way around it. Tri-tips? Crap. Lobster? Bland. Sushi? Feminine. No, really, feminine.
Texas style steak. That's all there is. Ask anyone who's ever had it.
Here's one of my own recipes, off of my own table:

To start with, always start with the freshest ingredients. Fresh, never frozen.

This includes the meat. In fact, this is ESPECIALLY true for the meat. You don't use supermarket meat. Always go to the butcher, and use fresh cut meat. If you want to age the beef, put it in the refrigerator yourself. Don't rely on the supermarket to have properly aged beef. If you don't know what aged beef is, it's best you just use fresh. I am using fresh beef today. Start with ribeye steaks. About one pound to one and a quarter apiece.

Take a VERY SHARP knife and slit one end of the ribeyes all the way in. That is to say, make a pita out of it. Leave three sides uncut. Cut as near to those three sides as you can without breaking through. Do not let the knife come out in the middle of the steak. That's very important. Take your time. And be careful. And did I mention, use a sharp knife.

After you have made a pita out of all of the steaks, place them in a large bowl.

If you want to add spice. Now is the time. Today, I put on some crushed red pepper (fresh, dehydrated, crushed) and some generic "steak seasoning powder".
Normally, you would add garlic powder, but not for this recipe.
Add a whole bottle of red wine. Don't spash it over the meat, because this will wash off the spice. Just pour it down the side. It's OK to take a swig or two if you like red wine. I used a dry Merlot today.

Put it into the refigerator. Hopefully the night before. I left mine in for about five hourse because this was all on short notice. That's the least I have ever left it in. I would have preferred about 12-15 hours.
The alcohol in the wine acts as a meat tenderizer, and makes the steak more tender. It also brings the spice into the meat.
For those of you who don't drink, it's ok. The fire will take out all of the alcohol. As an aside, any alcoholic drink works well, but red wine for red meat, white wine for chicken and fish. Beer for brisket. It works wonders.

Now a word about charcoal. If you use propane, you're missing out. Charcoal is the only way to go. Wood works well, too, if you know how to do it.
Don't use the regular kind of "charcoal briquette" that you see in the stores. Those are absolutely useless. Just a piece of trivia. The original Kingsford charcoal briquettes were made from packing and shipping wood from the Ford Motor Company crates. That's just so you know what you are eating there.
Use "no additives" all the time. The additives that they use to make it burn easier and longer are, to me, like drinking gasoline. Same thing goes for the starter fluid. You want it to be zero residue.

You can tell the difference just by looking at the pieces. See how my pieces look like pieces of wood? That's because they are.

At this time, I put them in the pit and hose them down with the fluid and let them soak. They are typically hard to light, because they have no additives to make them light faster. While they are soaking, I went back into the ingredients.



I cut up one onion and two garlic. Save the peelings and the outer skins.
Sautee them in an iron skillet. I have an eight inch cast iron skillet that is only used for garlic and onion. Then you never have to wash it. If you are familiar with cast iron, this is perfectly normal.

I use real butter. If you are not from Texas, it is ok to use margarine.

While that is cooking, put a whole bunch of mushrooms in another pan with at least a whole stick of butter.
The idea is to boil the mushrooms in butter instead of sautee. I ended up using one and a half sticks of butter for them today.


When that is done, it's time to light the pit. Hose it down one more time with fluid and strike a match. A word to the wise, never squirt more fluid into a lit fire. (Although everybody does it.)

It should make a big fire. Don't cover the pit. Let it burn until it burns itself out. This makes sure that the fluid is all burned off.

Ok, now it's time to talk about beer. There's an age old argument as to whether beer was invented for bbq's or if bbq's were invented for beer.
The type of beer you drink is very important. You have to drink bud light. If you are drinking Micholob or Heineken, you cannot call it bar-b-que. You would have to just call it meat.


By now, your butter is probably melted and starting to boil. You want to wait until the butter tastes more like mushroom and less like butter.

Then you add the garlic and onion mix to it and stir it up.


If the fire is all the way burned down now, you can go ahead and add your "extras".
If you don't have any extras, just put the lid on. Make sure there is enough airflow to keep the coals hot.


And of course, being HNT, here's a picture of my wife.


Ok, while the "extras" are cooking, go back inside and turn off the heat to the skillet. As soon as you turn it off, add a whole pack of shredded cheddar and mix the whole thing up.

And then mix the whole thing up to make a big "slop"


Take the meat out of the refrigerator and drain the wine off. There will probably be a bit of a purple tint to it. That's OK. That's normal.

Take the goop and stuff it into the meat. Fill it up, but not overflowing. Try to get all of the mushrooms, garlic, and onions that you can and if you have to leave some in the skillet, leave mostly cheese. If you happen to have the waxed "butcher string" you can tie them up to stay closed, if you want to.


And now it's time to put the meat onto the pit. Just before you put the meat on, take all of the left over onion and garlic skins, and a couple of extra garlic cloves and throw them right down into the coals. As they burn, the will give the meat an extra "kick"

When you slap them onto the pit, it should be hot enough that there is a "hissing" noise coming from it.
Then cover it and wait. The trick is to leave it alone. Don't even open the lid.
You can regulate the temperature by watching how much smoke comes out of the vent. You should make sure there is a steady stream of smoke coming out.

If the smoke starts coming out the sides of the pit, around the edges of the lid, the vent is not open enough. If you look down the lid and see open flame, it's open too much. Close it some.

Now the question is, how do you want your steak cooked? If you like it medium rare, you can flip it over when the hissing more or less stops. If you like it medium, flip it when you smell the cheese dripping down into the fire and stinking up the whole yard. Yes, burning cheddar stinks a lot. That's normal. That just means that it is time to flip it.

When you flip them over, always use the tongs. Also known as "corncob pullers".
Never use a fork. Just take my word for it. It's very important.

If you have a seasoned grill, the grill marks will be really pronounced when you flip them. And it really adds flavor to the meat. A lot. That's why you never use aluminum foil, and you never wash, scrub, or wire brush the grill.

When you flip them over, it's OK if some of the goop has come out onto the grill. Just leave it. As soon as you flip them, get the cover back on. When you take the lid off, it increases the oxygen to the fire and makes it burn hotter. So the quicker you flip them, the better.

Then you wait just a little while longer, and they are done. The second side always takes less than the first.
Take them off and it's time to eat.


See how I still have some drippings left on the grill? Just leave them on there and leave the lid off of the pit. They will burn off. It just adds seasoning for the next time.

Also, see how the fire has flared up after I took the lid off? Keep that in mind when you are flipping the steaks.

I served this up with potatoe salad, corn on the cob, mixed vegetables with cheese (in honor of our readers from California), red beans & rice, and my wife's famous ranch-bread.


Complexity.............7 out of ten
How did it turn out....8 out of ten (the sausage was a little over-done)
Time it took...........4 beers


Don't be afraid of it. It's worth the risk. If you need a little extra help, find any person who lives near you that is from Texas. They will be more than happy to help you get started.

How to clean a bbq pit

Easter is over. Out comes the pit.

It's one of the best times of the year. Easter is over, and you know the weather will stay good now until about November. I was getting ready to break out the bbq equipment when I came across an ad on freecycle from a person giving away a bbq pit...made from an old kettle. Now that's serious. I replied right away, but she was really busy and didn't check her email for a day or two. I figured that someone else had gotten it, so I broke out the "old smokey"

But then I got an email that the one made from the kettle was still available, and would I please come and get it right now. So that's exactly what I did.

The thing weighs about eighty pounds and stands about as tall as a four year old girl.
Oh, yes. It is mine. All mine, mine, mine.
(Thank you very much, Mandy, I will put it to good use.)

Who Knew?

Ok, people make mistakes. And I'm a person. So I'm allowed to make a mistake every now and then. And I'm grown up enough to admit when I've made a mistake.
But it wasn't entirely my fault. I mean, it's only like one or two letters off.



Now leave me alone about it. I'm having a bad enough day already.

Shakira

"Hips Don't Lie"
It's the number one video for how long now? Something like a hundred weeks in a row.
And why exactly is that? Is it some sort of social statement? Is it being promoted by some secret society of the ultra rich and powerful? Is it due to affirmative action and the fact that she is Hispanic?
No, none of the above.
It's the belly-dancing.
I've never seen anything like it before. How does she move her body that way?
I think I could watch that video about a hundred times in a row.
If I turned off the sound.
You see, Shakira is the dudest sounding chick I have ever heard in my life. If they are ever re-mastering an old James Earl Jones movie, they could get her to dub over all of his lines and nobody would even notice.
So the big question is....why do they keep playing the song on the stinking radio?
I mean, that's like advertising perfume on TV. It just doesn't work.
Even in a magazine they put the little "scratch and sniff" part so you can get the right sense involved in your purchasing decision.

Ok, so that's my rant for the day.
Now I have to go do my taxes.
I don't want to wait until the last minute this year.

So how do you top a computer like this one?

Having put the top of the line of each and every component into that computer, the question keeps coming up, how will I ever top it?

So how about a brainstorm.

1) Different motherboards have different strong and weak points. Some boards would allow for more RAM. If I could find a board that would hold more RAM and still do crossfire as well on the video cards, it would technically be faster. 4GB RAM is a lot though, and I doubt that will ever be the limiting factor in using the computer.

2) They make the same monitor in a 20 inch model. That would be cool.

3) I don't know if it's possible or not, but I was just thinking that is would be cool if you could hook up two keyboard and mouse sets to the same computer. Then each person could go on two screens of the same computer. What would even be cooler would be to both run different instances of UT on the same computer and play online.
I wonder if that is possible...

4) Build a multi-node computer. That would be slick. Especially if you slapped up four more screens on the second one.


Of course, I won't ever top that computer. At least not for so many years that it becomes obsolete. For one thing, I don't have any aps that would need nearly that much computer. I run an AMD 3200+ with 2gb RAM and nothing I use even comes close to bogging that down. Another thing is, I'm out of money. So that makes it really simple.

I'm glad you like the computer, Seven. It's really cool hearing it in your voice.
When you say it's like a graphic artist with years of experience designed and built it, what you probably dont realize is that you designed it. I just listened to all the bitching and moaning you did about what your old computer couldn't do and then made one that could. And when you said you wished that the canyon display was real (see pic) I went and made one.



No, I'll never top it. But I will take solice in the fact that I once owned one...and I gave it away.

Cool Places I've Found Lately

WWW.amd64.com has drivers for an amd 64.

http://windows-tips-and-tricks.blogspot.com/ tells how to change the name of your recycle bin or start button.

sevenbates.blogspot.com has pics of a really cool new computer.

and of course,
http://www.menwholooklikekennyrogers.com/ needs no explanation.

What I learned today.

1)Blogger is set up so that the default setting is to only allow other blogger members to comment on your post. That's pretty cheesey, if you ask me.
Why would you only want other blogger members to be able to comment? I mean, that's really retarded.
2)If you are blogging while you are at work, always minimize a screen of some really important looking work to the taskbar, so you can click it really fast if you are about to get busted.
3)If you are surfing the web at work, turn off the volume. Some people put music on their website. I think this is a bad idea because, as everyone knows, your music sucks and mine doesn't.

The whole story

This is 7.



Seven is one of those people that you think you know.
But you don't.

It's like when you talk with a firefighter at the scene of a fire. They appear to be big, and brave, and heroic all at the same time. They represent authority. They represent safety. But you never stop to consider that they might be some goofy twenty-two year old kid who can't make his way in the world and so they are living at the voluntary fire department while they work as a security guard at the warehouse.
(Yes, it DOES happen.)

Seven is the same way, but on another level.
You see, when people meet seven, the natural reaction is that they want to be his friend. He is big, outgoing, and highly intelligent.
Pick a topic. He can hang with you on it.

I bet you that he could tell you the difference between Keynesian and supply side economics. Or how to make a White Russian. Or which brand of soda has the most caffeine. Or what the skipper's name is.

You see, Seven is intelligent.
But there is a difference between being intelligent and being a nerd.
Believe it or not, many (if not most) nerds are not intelligent at all. Many of them are simply studious. They made good grades in school because they stuck their nose in the book and stayed with it until they got it. Then their grades are high, and that makes them look intelligent.

Most intelligent people, however, are not nerds. In fact, very few of them are.
The problem though is that there is no definition of intelligence that is universally accepted. I believe that the reason for this is that it is the nerds trying to define the word intelligence so as to include themselves. And therein lies the problem.

Intelligence does not, by the way, mean successful. There are many successful dumb asses in the world. And quite a few intelligent people living hand to mouth.
In fact, it's an old truism that a genious never hits his stride until his 30's.
I find this to be accurate.

Because we are not living in an intelligent world.
Many times it just simply takes the intelligent person a long time to figure out how to deal with all of the dumbassess in a way that is not paternalistic, and yet doesn't detract from the work at hand. It's a balancing act. It's an art.

But 7 has an advantage in the world of smart people. He is big, and he is loud, and he is outgoing. Shyness? Never. He can engage a perfect stranger in a conversation as if he has known the person his whole life. And in fact, it was probably the stranger who initiated the conversation.

That is Seven's wall.
All intelligent people have a wall.
Or at least all of them that I have known.
It's a defense, really.

You see, if a person's IQ is more than thirty points higher than your own, you cannot carry on a meaningful conversation with that person. They will be talking over your head. You will come away with nothing.
Or they can dumb it down for you to be able to understand.
But this does nothing at all for the smart person.
It is a similar concept to the housewife who stays home with the kids all the time. They spend all of their time talking with the kids about colors and potties and Mr. Bear. And inside, they crave meaningful conversation. Interaction.

And the intelligent person is no different.
Except you are not their child, so they have no obligation to talk to you at all.

So many intelligent people appear to be withdrawn. Reclusive. Loners.
In reality, however, they just don't have anything to say to you.
And so they have a computer. Or a book. Or a philosophy. Or Mensa. Or any other defense mechanism that suits them. In short, a wall.

Seven's wall is that he is social. He WILL talk to you. He will interact. He will dumb it down for you. He enjoys the attention.
He can always be the life of the party, because chances are, he is the most intelligent person there. He probably even enjoys your company. On a certain level. And you will never be able to surpass him in a popularity contest because, quite frankly, his name is SEVEN. Top that as an introduction. And he has spent his whole life trying to figure people out. He knows people as well as I do, and that says a lot. When he first starts talking to you, the first several minutes of the conversation will almost invariably be Seven probing in and figuring out your personality. Then he owns you. It's an instinct. It's also a talent. And then you will walk away from the conversation thinking "what a great guy" having spent the whole time talking with him about yourself. You will know nothing about him. And then the natural reaction is to think that he is just like you.

But what does Seven want in the world?
Seven wants meaning.
And he wants to be validated. (No, not his PARKING, for crying out loud)
When a genious (yes, 7 is a genious) reaches the late twenties, it is time to start thinking about what you want to be when you grow up.
What really matters? What are the interests that you have that you want to persue for the rest of your life?
So how about Seven? He is a creative genious and I am quite sure that he will create.
So I built him a computer.

But 7 is an IT guy. Can't he build his own computer?
No. Quite frankly, he cannot. He could build a computer. But then he would talk about the computer he wished he built. That is the computer that I built him.

I know from where Seven comes. I've had a hard life (not a bad life. Just a hard one). I wanted to give Seven a hand up in the world.

So here is your computer, Seven. Go out and conquer the world.



There's people been friendly, but they'd never be your friends
Sometimes this has bent me to the ground
Now that this is all ending
I want to hear some music once again
'Cause it's the finest thing that I have ever found
-mullins

To whom it may concern (This means YOU)

This just keeps getting stranger and stranger.
First I start seeing strange looking people. Then I began being stalked by people in unusual vehicles. And NOW.....
They've gone and psychoanalyzed me. See link.
I believe I have it all figured out now. And I'm pretty sure I know who is behind it all.
You see, I've been working on building a new computer. I think I have raised some eyebrows in the process.
In fact, I'm quite sure of it. When the Geek Squad shows up in front of your house, you know you have something unusual.

Now when I say I'm building a new computer, it doesn't really do it justice. It's more like a big computer/entertainment center/multimedia/every diehard nerd, geek, and barney wanna-be techno-nut in the world's dream machine.

It's a whopper-hal-skynet combo named OPTIMUS PRIME.

It's top of the line.

It's big.

It's heavy.

It's boss.

It's an AMD Athlon 64 bit dual-core 4800+ with 4 gb RAM and just over 1 tb storage.
It has dual Radeon 512 mb Video cards with crossfire, yielding four dvi outputs for a four screen extended desktop. That's for the four ultra high res 19 inch NEC monitors all side by side. It has a dual layer dvd coupled with a lightscribe dvd.
It has a soundblaster x-fi platinum soundcard with 7.1 surround sound 700 watt speakers for house shaking audio output. It has bells and whistles everywhere, including an external SATA port and 24....count them, 24....USB ports.
For those of you not coming out of your chair or drooling profusely, it's silver with blue lights.

And it's sitting in my living room.

I ordered a lot of the parts for it from newegg
I believe that's somewhere in California.
Now you know how those California people are.
Near as I can tell, one of the employees at newegg or with fedex saw what I was building and told a friend. Eventually it came to the attention of a group of nerds that I was building something that would put them to shame.
And of course, you know how those California people are.

So the geek squad showed up at my house.

Well, I did what any other Texan in the world would have done.
I laughed.

So they called in the big guns.

Apparently, there is a seven foot tall, 350 pound geek out there who does the dirty work for this secret, underground society of social misfits.

And he does psychoanalysis.

A Strange Message

A strange message appeared on my computer screen today. I don't know how it came up. It wasn't in Messenger. It just printed to my screen like it was part of my desktop or something. When I went to try to print it out, it wouldn't print. I'm not sure how it got there. I ran a virus checker and also AdAware and Spybot. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, and lucky thing, too, because now it is gone. I'm not sure what it all means. I'm still looking up some of the words. Here's what it said:

"It has come to the attention of certain unnamed parties that one or more individuals abiding at this residence have been engaged in certain activities historically reserved for parties heretofore unknown to said resident or residents. Nevertheless, said resident or residents are hereby instructed to cease and desist in said activity, to wit, the construction of certain computing machines not typically associated with residential computing in the general population, excluding by and for the aforementioned unknown parties. Furthermore, you are instructed to remit all components already assembled including, but not limited to, all notes which you have made and URL's registered for said purpose. Failure to comply shall result in physical compulsion."

See, I got no idea what that means. Is that some kind of threat or something? Got me scratchin'

Another Sighting

I took my wife up to Fry's Electronics last night (before Wrestlemania) and when we got home, there was another one of those Geek Squad cars parked outside of our house. This time Shelley saw it, too. (So I'm NOT schizophrenic, thank you very much.)
I went in to get the camera, but before I could get back outside, it was gone.

But I did get a good shot in of the video cards I was going to get:


Eat your heart out.
2x 512mb crossfire ATI RADEONX 1900 XTX

Dual DVI...EACH!

And in case you are slow at math, 2x 512mb is a FREAKIN' GIG.

WOW.

Strange Sightings

Some strange things have been going on lately. I keep seeing unusual people and odd vehicles. Ok, check this out:


First I saw this.

Ok, not too wierd all by itself. A bit unusual to see one of those out and about in broad daylight though.

But then, look what I saw next:



And again:


And again:


Have I done something to attract the attention of some secret underground group?
Is there such a thing as a secret society of braniacs?
Why are they following me?
Did word get out that I snubbed Mensa?
Did someone discover my recent purchases from newegg.com?
Am I building something that would make a geek stand up and take notice?

All good questions.